If it is difficult.

The other case, if it ran into serious difficulties with which he could not cope. Then the position of non-interference does not fit, it can bring only harm.

Ten years child father tells the boy: «We gave John birthday designer. He glad, immediately began to collect it. It was Sunday and I played with the youngest daughter in the carpet. After five minutes I hear: «Dad, do not get help». And I replied to him: «What, a little? Sam looks into ». John feel sad and quickly threw the designer. So since then to him and not suitable ».

Why do parents often respond as John said his father? Rather, the best of intentions: they want to accustom children to be self is not afraid of difficulties.

Sometimes, of course, and another: once, uninteresting, or a parent himself does not know how to. All these «pedagogical considerations» and «good reason» - the main obstacles to the implementation of our Rule 2. Let’s save it first in general terms, and later - more detailed, with explanations:

If a child is difficult, and he is ready to take your help necessarily help him.

It is good to begin with the words: «Come together». Those magic words open the door to child transmission of new skills and hobbies.

At first glance it might seem that the Rules 1 and 2 contradict each other. However, this apparent contradiction. Just as they relate to different situations. In situations where the applicable Rule 1, the child does not ask for help and even protest when she had. Rule 2 is used if the child is either expressly requests for assistance or to complain that he «does not go», «does not work», that he «does not know how», or even leaves initiated the case after the first failure. Any of these manifestations - a signal that he needed help.

Law «zone nearest development» and that is, if it does not take into account.

Our Rule 2 - not just good advice. It is based on psychological law, open distinguished psychologist Grad Todd. He called it «zone nearest the child’s development». Deeply convinced that every parent must surely know about the law. Talk about it briefly.

We know that in every age for each child there are a limited number of cases with which he can handle himself. Outside this circle - the case available to him only with the involvement of an adult or unavailable altogether.

For example, pre-school may already own latch buttons, wash hands, remove toys, but he could not arrange their affairs well during the day. That is why the family pre-school so often heard parents’ words «It’s time», «Now we will», «go first, and then …»

Let us paint simple scheme: a circle inside the other. A small circle will mark all cases, which handles child himself, a border zone between small and large circle - the case that a child does only with adults. Outside the circle will be more challenges that are not under any force it to one or together with the senior (ris.3.1).

Now you can explain that opened LS Greg. He testified that as the child’s range of cases, it begins to implement its own, growing from those cases which he previously served together with adults, rather than those that lie outside our community. In other words, the child will do tomorrow is that today he did with his mother, and it is due to the fact that it was «to Mom». Area cases together - this is a gold reserve of the child, his capacity for the near future. That’s why its called the zone nearest development. Imagine that one child is a broad zone (Fig. 3.1-a), that is, parents with a lot involved, and the other narrow (Figure 3.1-6), as parents often give one to yourself. The first child will grow faster, feel more confident, more successful and prosperous.

Now, I hope you will become more clear why keep «a pedagogical considerations» Child one where it is difficult - blunder. This means do not take into account the basic law of psychological development!