I must say that children feel good and peaks, which they now need. How often do they ask: «Play with me», «Come walk», «Come mess around», «Take me with you», «Can I, too, will …». And if you do not really serious reasons for denial or delay, the answer would be let only one: «Yes!».

And what happens when parents are regularly denied? To cite as an illustration of a conversation in psychological counseling.

Previos article:

«Come along!» Part 1

Mother: I am a child of a strange, perhaps deranged. Recently, we sit with her husband in the kitchen, speak, and it opens the door, and straight at us with a stick, and directly hurts!

Consultant: How are you with him usually spend their time?

Mother: It is? Yes does not spend. And when I? Houses are steeper in the household. And he walks tail: play yes play with me. I’m him: «Yes Leave You, the play, you that the toy is not enough?»

Consultant: And your husband, he was playing with it?

MOTHER: What do you! The husband comes to work as well once on the sofa and watching TV …

Consultant: And your son coming to him?

Mother: Of course, suits, but his chase: «Do not you see, I’m tired, go to the mother!».

So there really surprising that hopeless boy moved «natural methods of exposure»? His aggression - a reaction to abnormal communication style (or rather, don’t talk) with the parents. This style does not only contribute to the development of the child, but sometimes causes him severe emotional problems.

For example, in reading. Rule 2 with explanations.

Now take a look at some specific example of how to apply Rule 2.

We know there are children who do not like to read. Their parents are rightly upset and trying all means to accustom a child to the book. But often it fails.

Some friends, parents complained that their son does not read. Both wanted it rose educated and erudite man. They were very busy people, therefore, limited to what take «most interesting» books and lay them son on the table. True, they are reminded, and even demanded that he sat down to read. But the boy indifferently walked past a stop entire adventure and fantastic novels and went into the street to play with guys in football.

There is a way to open and constantly rediscovery parents: Read with your child. Many families read pre-school has not yet familiar with the letters. But some parents continue to do so and then, when their son or daughter has been enrolled in school. Just note that the question: «How long should be read in conjunction with the child has learned fold letters in the word?» - Can not be answered unequivocally. The fact is that the speed of automation of reading for all children is different (this relates to the individual characteristics of the brain). It is therefore important in the difficult period of development of reading help your child fascinated by the contents of the book.

At the parents’ course, one mother shared with the way she was able to awaken interest in reading among her nine sons:

«Tom not very fond of the book, read it slowly, was lazy. And because of that little read, could not learn to read quickly. Here and received a sort of vicious circle. What should I do? Decided to his interest. Now choose interesting books and read it at night. He took to bed and waited, when I finish their home. Chita - and both fond of: what will happen next? It is time to put out the light, but it: «Mommy, well, please, Mr. another page!». A very interesting to me … Then firmly agreed: even five minutes - and that’s it. Of course, he eagerly awaited the next evening. And sometimes, and not wait until the end of read story itself, especially if there is little left. And I’m not him, and he told me: «Read necessarily!» I certainly tried to read that evening together a new story to begin. So gradually he began to borrow books in their hands, and now that happens, he like it! ».

The story - not only an excellent illustration of how a parent has set up the zone closest to the development of their child and helped her to learn. It also amply demonstrates: When parents behave in accordance described the law, it is easy to maintain favorable and friendly relations with children.

We have come to write Rule 2 entirely.

If a child is difficult, and he is ready to accept your help, be sure to help him. At the same time:

1. Take on only what he can not perform himself, and leave the rest to do it himself.

2. With the development of new activity, children gradually give them to him.

As you can see, now Rule 2 explains how to help a child in a difficult case. The following example illustrates the well-meaning additional items to this rule.

Two bicycle.

Many of you will ever teach a child ride a two-bike. Usually begins with the child sit in the saddle, lose balance and fall along with the donor cycle. You have to, seized one-hand steering wheel, the other a saddle, keep a bicycle upright. At this stage, almost all do yourself: You luck cycle, and the child only bungle and nervously tries to twist the pedal. But after a while you find that he began to straighten himself steering wheel, and then you gradually weakens its hand.

Even after some time it turns out that you can leave the steering wheel and run back, only supporting the saddle. Finally, you feel that you can temporarily release the saddle, allowing the child to travel alone a few meters, although willing to catch it again at any moment. And now the moment when he confidently goes by yourself! If you look for any new case that children learn with your help, a lot will look like. Children usually active, and they are constantly striving to assume that you are doing.

If playing with her son in the electric railway, the father of first track and connects to the network transformer, then after a while the boy is seeking to make all this and, yes even track how someone his interesting way.

If the mother before digging daughter a piece of dough and gave her to make her, «child», pie, but now the girl herself wants to knead dough and dress.

The desire to conquer all of the new Child «territory» cases, it is very important and should be protected as the apple of one’s eye.