The source of these two words together in the head with one of the first born image of the Madonna and Child, known for paintings by old masters.
And becomes like a nice, warm, as if some fantasies, dreams of a distant childhood lived somewhere nearby. Indeed, when the son is at the very ages when a full can be called a child, and these two are nothing like the dream alive. The mother (Madonna) looked gently, with care and faith in the future that awaits them both, and that she would try to achieve.

But time is running inexorably forward, and our ideas are lagging behind, failing in step with the times, and this is especially telling in the case of the two - a mother and son. Put the history of their relations, while a son is not yet fully become adult - it can be very different, but like anything, it is still fully described their family status: mother, son. In the future it will be precisely on these two, when a third, father’s family, or for any reason or no it is purely nominal, not being present on either the husband or father or head of household.

Different challenges, surprise, uncertainty about the wait both when the son is already mature, “Opera” and is ready to “fly” from the parent, in this case the mother, jack. Indeed, if managed to look objectively - ready - all say. And son, if asked, he too is likely to say, or at heart to think about - is ready. But never think so much less than say, a mother herself. And say, or think that something quite the opposite, and argued that it would be difficult to argue and rebut, because it will get in a “camouflaged” form, that: In a word: “Women often say less than people think, but do More than want, “as F. Schlegel said.

What is scary typical of the situation? Often, the fate of many women there is a situation where relations between the spouses intended to “crack” that grows and grows, becoming, over time, in the distance huge size. ” It does not matter whether they will depart permanently, that is form this crack in form or not form it - is, and maintain it through any relationship and it is hard, and do not want, and no further meaning. It was during this period the woman is some restructuring going on in her inner world of the most intimate relationship. Feelings, which tied her with her husband, gradually it unfasten, and free, looking for a “fulcrum”. And find it, the benefit of it “at hand”. The son is growing, “husband” and more akin to that desired foothold.

And as the son of approaching the very moment when he was “ready”, their relationship imperceptibly transformed from maternal-filial, in any other. They are more tangible beginning to a disturbing component of the mother, and the role of those relationships where they stayed until this becomes rather small for them. And what can I do? ..

To say that I do - is to throw words to the wind, because he who they are, never will not, and will find hundreds of reasons - why! Therefore, try to understand themselves and understand the causes of these - why? Why do these two get into a situation where they feel at the same time and burdensome for their relationship and strangeness, captivity, and the impossibility of escaping from that.

I remember the case of practices with a young man R., a student at a Moscow college, who told about some strange feelings that accompany his life in recent times. He became to feel a bit “not quite yourself, that the impact on its relationships with peers, especially the opposite sex. As familiarity with the history of his life and family relations, it turns out that he lives together with her mother, a woman of about forty. Father, it almost does not remember, because he left the family early, and it does not try to remember. Some men ever before “guest”, but it was not permanent, but in recent times - and none at all. His mother, he said, became very jealously about their employment, and especially to his acquaintances. He feels that interest on its part, that the mere invitation of a friend, much less familiar, to his guests, seemed to him the situation out of.

Indeed, as far as growing up the son, mother-to-it attitude has gradually become a slightly different shade than in families with both parents living full-fledged marriage. His mother is increasingly sees it (the son) man, unconsciously giving him the ideal characteristics, increasingly believing established itself, its image and extol to it. And when the son of “ready” - Mother is the most terrible, critical period of possible parting, which it will be resisted as far as it was enough ingenuity and effort. And this resistance will not occur without prejudice to the immediate environment, and particularly - a son. All this autonomy that makes a man a man, the possibility of taking their own decisions, will be from the same well-meaning, unconsciously “usurped” mother “. This is typically compounded by the fact that life does not give him the son of an alternative example. He or no sight examples of male behavior, and if - there is, it is unlikely that good. Because crack in the relationship of his parents lay not without.

Drama “failed lives” in its entirety and to this day unfolding in the heart of the mother, leaving out only in the form of various products emotional - tears, wail, reproach. It might seem that for them there is no reason that this is nonsense, etc. But in fact, for all that we can see, there are reasons as there are reasons for everything that we can not see. Past, separation from loved ones, inability to make up for the loss, to build a full-fledged marriage and regain their female happiness, will attempt to offset the implementation or work or to care. In caring for its Chad, beloved, singular. That does not give Mr.-and-a-o-o-o-m-u!

To complete the picture is worth mentioning the second half - a son, which is not so simple, if only his relatives and beloved people from childhood - is the mother. They have their whole lives were trapped at each other, trusting each other very, very, survive and joy and sorrow together. And for each of them hard to let go of each other, losing the most expensive at the moment, a man and move into independent living. Especially if some of them and there is no such prospects.

It is clear that from this point of view, very weak, vulnerable link in this dyad - a mother, because the age in which it is located, when the son is already get adult typically leaves no hope, no real prospects. Not to lose is the last in which it invested so much time and effort, dreams and hopes! This is all the more tragic that the son is such a prospect is.

And in this case a young man Robert had something similar, with one small difference that this prospect he had not yet. And he really was in the situation that we understand and which once treated, it was difficult. There is a clear vision of and wise counsel he has not been, and his own life experience was not yet so rich, and treated objectively to such rights as a mother hard. Yes, and understand, and simply describe what is happening lacked any experience or words. He simply felt “not quite yourself”

If a person feels “in place”, the prospect is clear, and attitudes too, and feelings clear. For Robert it was vice versa, and did not meet in his life a psychologist, did not know what all this ended, the prospect of what awaited him in front.

Thus, a normal, naturally arises in the life of any human perspective - is finding and gaining their own half. But in the case of the son, this is half the woman seeking the same, at its favorite child. And if, despite all the conscious and unconscious efforts, it happens, the result is a something like a love triangle. And right on the sole, held in this triangle man, differ not only quantitatively but also qualitatively. Share them establish any semblance of a subordination, it is not possible, as well as negotiations on this issue has never been, and will not be. Beloved can not be divided in any proportion.

The situation seemed close to unsolvable.

Give any advice to any of the competing parties had no special meaning. Will not be heard.