I must say that children feel good and peaks, which they now need. How often do they ask: «Play with me», «Come walk», «Come mess around», «Take me with you», «Can I, too, will …». And if you do not really serious reasons for denial or delay, the answer would be let only one: «Yes!».

And what happens when parents are regularly denied? To cite as an illustration of a conversation in psychological counseling.

Previos article:

«Come along!» Part 1

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If it is difficult.

The other case, if it ran into serious difficulties with which he could not cope. Then the position of non-interference does not fit, it can bring only harm.

Ten years child father tells the boy: «We gave John birthday designer. He glad, immediately began to collect it. It was Sunday and I played with the youngest daughter in the carpet. After five minutes I hear: «Dad, do not get help». And I replied to him: «What, a little? Sam looks into ». John feel sad and quickly threw the designer. So since then to him and not suitable ».

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Children are prone to adolescent frequent changes of mood. Another half an hour ago he was proud to talk about their achievements in school, and now - another fantasy about the acquisition of a mobile phone or evening stroll. This is a normal situation for the children of this age.

In doing so, the child often unconsciously aware that he was not right, but stubbornness and naughtiness are up over common sense. Parents in such situations often say: “age …” and press shoulders or, worse, irritate and throw out their anger on the child.

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The house has someone else’s property. In temple pulses terrible words teachers’ Your child is stolen from classmates … “What do I do? Calm down. If only because such incident happens From thousands of other families. But it depends on the reaction of parents as events will develop further - for total control and confidence.

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In recent years, some cases of aggressive behavior disseminated minors with their peers, committing crimes to acts of cruelty and cynicism.

Some scientists believe that it is connected with the so-called hereditary gene cruelty or brutality.

For example: the father gets in prison for the crime. His mother is looking for earnings, not particularly care about what is her minor child, which still requires attention. Left alone with their problems of child sour on the world and, consequently, one of the parties commits the company to other young offense.

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Believe, your baby may be strong and self-confidence. But without your help and support he can not do!
Step 1. Find a good kid in line

You should be proud that your baby calm, non egoist, well-wishers that he would be able not only to their liking, but also with the needs of others. He knows how to evaluate a good attitude to yourself. From the very early age, he listens to the comments of other people. From small modest obtained very good friends. Kindness - one of the main advantages of shy people, so be ready to shelter in their house the homeless kitten or puppy that does not cause tears of frustration with his child.

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The problem of raising a difficult child is one of the most important issues in contemporary society.

In this regard, there was need for more careful study of effective measures remedial work with adolescents destructive behavior.

For adolescents with disruptive behaviors observed inadequate self-esteem, high levels of school anxiety and manifestations of aggression.

As the researchers note, for young people with difficulties in behavior characteristics in an emotionally-willed and value-regulatory areas of the individual. Especially lack of values in the goals and meaning in life. It can be argued that deviation as a form of behavior is directly dependent on a comprehensive personal education, guide and ensure the implementation of deviant behavior.

Deviating behavior, usually accompanied by negative emotions or emotional disorders, such as aggression or depression. Leading role in the origin of deviant behavior plays an alarm. Emotional problems pose difficulties relaxation (relax) and self-regulation in general. Violations also affect the regulation of arbitrary action - target, planning, evaluation and self-control. Self-regulation, in turn, may be compromised because of personal characteristics, such as: poor voice control, low reflexivity, low self-esteem.

To study the properties of the individual personality of adolescents who are destructive behaviors, was organized following a study: diagnosis of anxiety on the scale of anxiety, self-diagnosis level on how Budassi, diagnosis of the state aggression on the questionnaire Bass-Darko. The study was conducted with a group of students of deviant behavior, with 10 people (aged 14 to 16 years).

Analysis of diagnostic results showed that adolescents with disruptive behaviors observed inadequate self-esteem (40% of students), a high level of anxiety (40% of students), aggression (50% of students). Because of low self-esteem as compensation triggered aggression, and therefore there self-appraisal anxiety.

For the prevention of deviant behavior of adolescents, we, together with psychologists point psychological and educational rehabilitation and correction offer a program on prevention of deviant behavior of adolescents. “

The goal of the program: to provide adolescents with opportunities to understand the importance of the acquisition of social skills, expanding the repertoire of children’s role, ensuring the improvement of communication and contributing to the security of social experimentation, the peculiar adolescence; updating process of social self-determination, creating a positive environment self-appraisal.

After examining the causes of deviant behavior and analyzing the results of diagnosis, you can propose the following remedial work with adolescents deviant behavior:

* Decline in personal anxiety and aggression;

* Removal of provoking factors of deviant behavior in children (advisory work with parents);

* Training of adolescent communication skills;

* Development of positive self-esteem.

Thus, the manifestation of deviant behavior associated with the personal characteristics of adolescents, especially such a high level of anxiety, high level of aggression, inadequate self-esteem. At the same time, there are adequate measures to prevent destructive behavior of adolescents, and it is against their need to build rehabilitative work with children and students in schools.

Children’s selfishness

Often self-interest in children was not due to poor mental as a child, a lack of life experience, as well as the fact that children are unable to fully comprehend the situation. Assume somebody of “home” sick, sick needed peace and quiet, and the child cry, shouts and worn at home. If you are in this shout: “Stop it now!” - He stops, but it does not mean that the situation would not recur in half an hour. Parents should not be limited to simple observations, a conversation with your child, explain what it is not right. Try to influence the emotions of the Child, Get not only for him to obey you, but also to experienced pangs of conscience, heartfelt grief. Manifestations of selfishness can be cured if you order the child to provide any services to a patient: “Help wet an napkin, bring the cup.”

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The sensitivity - a rare phenomenon, especially among children, who rarely think who and what they say. The abuser and resentful of the day can not once changed roles, while the next morning, most children do not even remember the details of the conflicts have occurred.

However, if the child susceptible beyond measure - is hampered not only him but also to all those with whom he comes into contact. Any situation of communication painted in shades of negative inadequate reaction of the child to what is happening. Cope with this painful reaction is very difficult.

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The formation of identity occurs under the influence of a variety of factors. One such factor is the impact on man, whose goal is to build a facility the impact of certain views. The most common methods of human exposure, including a child, a suggestion and persuasion.

And belief, and suggestion is one of the most effective methods of child rearing. Both methods require the impact of direct contact with the child. For a successful education requires a number of conditions and requirements.

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